His Little Masquerade
by TheTwoHetalianSams
Summary: Lovino had always been misunderstood and gets hated for everything when people don't even try to get to know him. He only has two friends; easily getting depressed. When he's had enough, he just gives up. Only Antonio really notices Lovino's new actions so steps in to try and help. Things head down bumpy road between them; ending up on a completely new path for them both in the end
1. Chapter 1

**Hello lovelies! It's me Sam! Sammy let me have this plot idea that she thought of for a new story so i get to write it ;3 Uh... I've never written a story on my own so idk how good i am, so please review so know if I'm good or just really bad! xD But Sammy said she thinks I'll be pretty good at this one, so i hope she's right!  
**

 **Thank u Sammy *happy sloth heart emoji***

 **... don't question it people.**

 **Disclaimer- I don't own any characters, the owner of Hetalia does! I guess the plot isn't mine either... It's Sammy's but she didn't feel like writing it so i get to :) But all i own is the actual writing xD**

Lovino slams his bedroom door shut and quickly locked himself inside, leaving his younger brother, and everyone else who came to celebrate their birthday, downstairs. Hot tears started to well up in his eyes.

"Nobody ever notices me, they all _hate_ me. _Why_? Why do they all like my stupid brother more than me?" he reached both hands up to cover his face, trying to push away the rivers of tears already streaming down. He really did want to be nice to everyone and be friends with people, but he found it so hard. The way everyone saw him really wasn't him at all, but he never wanted to be himself because he had been too scared to let people see how much he really was like his little brother. He never wanted his life to come to this, where everyone hated him. He really only had two friends on the planet; Gilbert and Antonio. They were the only ones he could really talk to and hang out with.

As he tried his best to not let the quests downstairs hear him cry, he let his legs give out from under him and fall on the ground in front of the door. While cupping his hands over his face, he heard his brother start to knock on his door, pleading to come in and see what was going on.

"Lovino what's wrong? It's our birthday, come out and have fun with us!" His brother, Feliciano, spoke in a very calm, soft, and cheerful voice. This just irritated Lovino even more, hearing his brother act like he didn't know what was wrong and that everything was all peachy. Lovi didn't remove his hands from his face but made them into tight fists and bared his teeth, refusing to stand up or open the door.

"Go away Feliciano!" Through his gritted teeth, he spat words out, not even trying to sound alright. His jaw tightened when he didn't hear the expected footsteps of his brother walking away after a moment of speaking.

"Why? Please let me in, fratello." Lovi could hear his door knob jiggle around, Feli was trying to let himself him. He couldn't take this anymore. Lovino took in a sharp breath of air and threw back one of his fists into the door behind him.

"I said go away!" Not even caring who heard him this time, he shouted to get his message through his brothers thick mind. The door rattles from the impact of his fist and he could hear his brother gasp and take a step back. A second passes before he can start to feel the sharp pain in his hand and foot steps of his brother running away. Relieved, but still full of depression and anger, he relaxes and lets his fists open up and fall to the floor. His head falls back against the door and he starts to sob again. Once again, his time alone was cut short again by the sound of his computer across the room. His room was fairly small, after moving out of the room he shared with Feli, he got one of the old spare bedrooms in the house. It wasn't horrible, really. He had his bed, a desk with his computer, a bathroom, and a dresser. The average room.

Opening one eye, he looked over to his computer and see that he had gotten a message. It surprised him, he really never got messages from anyone on his computer. Lovino let out a sigh, wiped the streams of tears off his cheeks, and started to push himself off of the floor. Once he had stood straight up, he turned around to double check to see if the door was locked, and when he saw it was, he turned back around and started to walk to his computer. Lovi pulled out his chair and sat down, then starred at the screen to see who the message was from. He couldn't decide whether to be even more upset or happy when he saw that it was a video message from Gilbert and Antonio.

Earlier that afternoon, Lovino and his brother had been sitting in the kitchen and having a good conversation over lunch. They had both received a letter from Grandpa Rome, wishing them a happy birthday. Nothing had been going badly until the door bell wrung and Lovino went over to answer the door. To his excitement is was Francis, Alfred, Ludwig, and some more friends of theirs. Lovi really didn't hate any of them, he really was generally happy to see them and considered them his friends as well. But apparently, his normal face looks like a bitch face, making everyone around him think that he hates them. His excitement of seeing his 'friends' didn't last much longer, when they all sort of tensed a bit and awkwardly smiled. They had expected Feli to answer the door, but when they were found with Lovi, they only sang out a weak 'Happy Birthday' to him. When his brother had rushed over to look over Lovino's shoulder, he could see the happy and relived looks in their eyes that his brother was actually home and not just him. When Feliciano invited everyone in, they all rushed past Lovi and went straight to his brother to greet him and talk to only him. A little part inside Lovino shattered into pieces when he saw everyone gravitate to his little brother. With that, he immediately got very irritated, and feeling tears starting to prick the corners on his eyes, he rushed past them all to run to his bedroom. Bringing him to where he was a moment ago; being up against the door, crying and yelling at Feli.

Lovino forced a small smile onto his face, trying to be happy that _someone_ had actually messaged him. He took the mouse, and pressed play on the video as he leaned forward to see what they had possibly sent him. With doing so, the video began to play, soft and up-beat music playing in the back round as he was greeted by a black screen at first. As soon as the music starts to gain its rhythm, pictures started to glide across the screen. Photo's of Lovi, Gilbert and Antonio when they would hang out, go out on adventures and other activities. When seeing the pictures of them all smiling, laughing, and having such a great time, Lovino felt hot tears starting to grow in his eyes again. The video lasts a minute or two, and when the ending approaches, the music calms back down and one last photograph comes up. It's a picture of when they all first met and had the best day of their lives, and in front of it, the words "Happy Birthday to the awesome Lovino Vargas!" appeared, then left the screen as the video faded away and came to an end. Lovino sat there a moment, still staring at the now black screen. He had no idea what to do or say, his only friends, the only ones who cares, had make the time and effort to make this for him. He didn't try to hold back the glimmer of joy he had in him as he broke out in small laughter. Completely forgetting what he was so mad about, and started to feel overwhelmed. With pulling himself back together, Lovi grabbed the mouse again and exited the video.

"Hey bastards, thanks for making that video, it was really awesome." Typing into the recently opened Skype chat, seeing that both his friends were online. He hit send and waited for any response, but didn't have to wait long as Gilbert replied almost immediately.

"No problem! How's your birthday coming along?" The realization hit him, remembering everything that happened that morning, and suddenly getting worked up all over gain.

"Horrible, don't really want to talk about it. Can we go out later today? I need out of this house." Lovino could tell that Gil wasn't too happy of his response; taking him a longer time to type back. He waited a little longer before seeing Antonio join in.

"Si, of course! We can get you in 30. Sound alright?"

"Yea, please." Finishing off the conversation, he turned off his computer and pushed the chair back, letting the chair and himself roll around. His birthday's had pretty much always gone like this, ever since him and his brother started living together again a while back. Nothing had really changed from that point, so he got used to it in some degree. He took in a deep breath and pulled himself off the chair and walked to the bathroom. He needed a shower to get his mind off things and relax. As he walked across the room, he reached over and grabbed some clothes off his dresser that had just been washed. He threw them on the bathroom floor and began to strip out of his current clothes as he turned the shower on. His bed and bathroom were so small, his younger brother, most always, got the bigger rooms for some reason. He stepped into the shower and felt a chill go up his spine as when the water hit his back. It started to warm up as he stood there another moment, letting himself relax by the water massaging his back.

After a few minutes, Lovi was already out of the shower and dressed. He decided not to go back downstairs until his ride came to get him. While he was still deep in his own thoughts, he was snapped out of them by the feeling of his phone vibrate in his back pocket. He looked down and pulled it out, when he saw that it was Gilbert calling, he ended the call and stuffed it back into his pants. Lovino closed his eyes and took another deep breath, the last thing he wanted to do was to see those ' _friends_ ' downstairs. But he knew he had to if it meant getting out of the house. So, he let his breath out and opened the door to see everyone's head snap up to look in his direction. Some faces were surprised, some angry and some just blank. He figured they all got mad at him for yelling at his brother earlier, so he ignored it and started his way down the stairs. Nobody spoke as they all had their eyes following him walk to the door.

"Fratello, were are you going?" Feli was the only one to speak, he seamed worried and a little scared that his brother might yell at him once more. Though, Lovi didn't turn around or look back, he just kept walking and put his hand on the door knob.

"Out." He pulled the door open and spoke with a flat tone, not caring about what the people inside were thinking about him. He saw the old red mustang convertible by his driveway, with Antonio and Gilbert waiting inside. Once they saw him, they stared to wave their arms around and wide grins grew on their faces as they simultaneously shouted his name and to hop in. He paused just for a brief second, he tried not to feel distraught of what was going on inside their home, celebrating his birthday _without_ him. He tried not to care, which he was very good at hiding emotions. But the problem was, he did care. A whole lot, it always bugged him and upset him so much that everyone could easily love his little brother and yet think so badly of Lovi without even trying to get to know him.

 _'What's the point of even trying anymore?'_

 **So that was my first time writing by myself, i hope i did a good job! Please review! :D  
**

 **Oh and I'm not sure how often I'll update this one, it was more of a "do in your spare time" thingy, and so i don't know how consistent I'll be.**

 **-Sam 3**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hello everyone! Wow I did't expect the story to go this well already, thank you! I'll try my best to update** **as soon as I can but I also have the other story, "An Appetite for Spamano" that Sammy and I are working on, go check it out! And I'm sorry for not getting this out as soon as some of you want it... I've been struggling with a lot of personal issues as well and it's really hard for me to get in the mood to write good fiction recently, and when i was about to post this chapter, my computer glitched and deleted half of it! So i had to rewrite it, so much fun...  
**

 **Translations at the bottom!**

 **Guest- Thank you! :D**

 **Natsume-Erika- haha I'll try but I am also working on that other story! But thank you a whole bunch!**

 **Alright, let's see how this chapter plays out!**

 **Disclaimer- I do not own any characters, I don't technically own the plot ( It was Sammy's idea ) , but I own the writing!**

"Where are we heading?" Gilbert shouted over his shoulder to Lovino, attempting to make his voice clear over the cars blasting stereo. He was well loud enough, any louder and his ears would start to hurt. Antonio looked back at him, smiling, trying to get Lovi's thoughts out of the mess back at home.

"Don't care." He didn't return _the_ friendly smile back at Antonio, but just stared at him and then turned his head to continue looking out the window. He could tell that his actions didn't please his friends as the atmosphere became rather static and weird. Lovi just kept his gaze fixed on the passing cars and the landscape, not paying attention and just really not caring what the other two where saying; deep in his own thoughts. ' _What's so desirable about Feli that I'm lacking? Do I need to try and be more like a complete idiot like him? Why do these guys even hang out with me? Why do I even care?'_ He sat up, leaned over and turned down the stereos volume down so that they could hear him without shouting. Antonio looked at him with a rather confused face, and Gilbert looked over for a second, not wanting to crash the car.

"Hey, What's wro-" Antonio was cut off short by Lovi as he just looked down at the console unit, his face expressionless.

"Why do you guys hang out with me? Why not my _'fantastic'_ little brother?" When he finished his sentence, his voice cracked and his face looked disgusted. He could feel the emotions welling up inside him but kept them back, not wanting to look like a fool in front of his only friends. They all stayed silent for a moment, Gilbert kept a flat expression as he leaned over and turned off the stereo. The car became quiet and everyone just looked forward, thinking of what to say.

Gilbert spoke first, keeping his expression blank and speaking in an equally it but slightly irritated tone. "What kind of question is that?"

This surprised Lovino, he didn't think it was a stupid question at all. He started to shy away, slightly embarrassed, "I-I don't know... It's just that everyone seems to like him more and think that I hate them all. I really don't, I just hate when they act like that..." This made Antonio whip his head around to look at Lovi.

"Do we look like _'everyone'_ to you?" Antonio smiled at him, trying to lighten the mood a little, or at least get the weird atmosphere out of the air. Lovi looked up at him, seeing his grin and looking away again.

"N-no, it's just like...everyone _but_ you guys."

"Ja, but it's their loss. Your brother isn't as awesome as you. Said and done. And who cares if some people don't like you? Means more time for us to enjoy the time we spend with you." Everyone paused and looked at him, surprised at the genuine worlds that just come out of the Prussian's mouth.

"I- uh... Thank you Gil." The atmosphere cleared immediately as Lovino leaned back to his seat and continued to look out the window. Gilbert kept looking ahead at the road and let a smile go across his face, turning the stereo back on full blast.

Lovino still really didn't feel much better to be honest. He still felt like nothing and thought of reasons why he should still try to be somewhat kind to his brothers friends. Though, he decided since he was with his friends, he would just be him and enjoy the moments while he had them. His thoughts were cut short _, for the fucking third time that day,_ when Antonio started to shake Lovi's shoulder as he made an attempt to regain his attention. Of course it worked; Lovi turned over and gave an irritated glance to his Spanish friend. Then, his eyes averted to his surroundings, looking at the parking lot they were in, and the massive building that stood before him. His eyes grew wide and he spun around to look at Gilbert.

"An _Arcade_?" He started to get overjoyed when he saw the nods of agreement from the other two in the car. Lovino was always great at arcades, And _hell_ , he _loves_ them. He would always be 'that one guy' who always got all the tickets, won every game, and the one everyone always easily got very jealous of. People would sometimes come up to him and ask him how he did it, some people would look like they were about to punch him. Lovi would simply shrug and say, "It just comes naturally!", then go to a new game and continue to gain more tickets.

"You ready? Looks like your about to piss yourself!" A loud guffaw was echoed from the Prussian, him and Antonio sat there and saw how happy the Italian had become from upon seeing the surprise.

Lovino disregarded his comment about him about to wet himself, and with out hesitation he let out a loud shout. "Oh Fuck yes!",and not wanting to wait a second longer, he threw himself out of the car and locked his eyes on the arcade, and started to sprint in its direction.

"Oi, Lovi, wait for us!"

The sky overhead had already began its decent into the darkness of night. Gilbert eased his car into the driveway after a long day at the arcade. Lovino had won every game he played, as expected, but with all his tickets he decided just to give them to a little girl. He never cared much for prizes and saw how upset the small girl was when she had lost a game, so he handed all of his tickets to her. That's how he really was, he wanted to make people happy and not just be a selfish buttwrench. So, with all of his nerves at ease and letting out a sigh, Lovi leaned against the window and smiled. He sat up when the car came to a stop and opened the door. Lovino thanked his friends for the amazing afternoon and waved them off. His mood had drastically improved from that morning, and all his thoughts of giving up had disappeared.

Lovi grabbed the doorknob and pulled it open, only seeing some lights on and expecting everyone to have gone by now. He was proven wrong at the sight of his brother with another man. He could tell they had been having a small make-out session by the way they threw each other off and starred at the figure in the doorway. Lovino stood in disbelief at what he had just saw, and jerking his head to the other person, he became disgusted when he saw who it was.

"What the _fuck_ is this?!" Gesturing to Ludwig, the man who had been sitting with his brother. Both men were still frozen and blushing hard.

"Nothing fratello, I was just talking with Luddy!"

" _Luddy_?" Lovino's face wrinkled in disgust, not that his brother was kissing a man, but it was who he was kissing. Ludwig's eyes grew wide and his blush deepened in embarrassment. He quickly grabbed his jacket that was lying next to him of the sofa and stood up, keeping his head low to avoid eye contact with the infuriated Italian.

"I uh... I think I should leave..." Ludwig started to walk to the door, but was stopped when Lovino shot him a look that made his blood run cold. He wasn't going to let him get out of this situation so easily. Ludwig stayed frozen for a moment, then just backed up a few steps and stood to the side. With him out of the way, Lovi moved his attention back to his brother, then started to speak in their native tongue so that the Ludwig wouldn't understand their conversation.

"Bene, che diavolo stesse succedendo qui prima mi è venuto in ? E non dirmi niente, Feli, so che qualcosa stava succedendo !"

"Niente fratello ! Stavamo solo baciando ... un po prima che tu arrivassi . Ma niente di più lo giuro ! Stavamo parlando poi abbiamo cominciato baciare ! Si prega di non fargli del male !" Feli looked like he was about to cry, pleading to his brother, with Ludwig caught in between. "Mi dispiace che ho avuto modo di baciare qualcuno stasera e non l'hai fatto !" Feliciano got worked up and didn't realize what he had just said until he saw the look on his brothers face. Lovino stopped yelling and all the rage from his face was gone and he just stoop up straight. Looking at his brother in disbelief, he started to feel unimportant once again and completely hated. With all the strength to keep himself still put together, Lovino didn't say another word before pushing past Ludwig and running up to his room. Feli gasped and cupped his hands over his mouth, finally realizing the complete damage he did to his brothers self-esteem. He stood up and jumped forward to grab his arm, his fingers tightening around Lovino's shirt sleeve. Feeling this, Lovi whipped around and faced Feli, his eyes red and face broken in emotion. With seeing the sight of his older brother is such state, Feli let go and watched him run to his room. He fell back onto the couch and hung his head, Ludwig looked over at Feliciano and opened his mouth. He closed it and realized there was nothing he could do. Without second thought, Ludwig just walked to the door and left the Vargas household. Both brothers now completely broken by each others actions that day, and by far, having a horrid birthday.

Lovino slammed his door, locked it, and jumped onto the bed and drug his head into his pillow. He felt like never coming back out and that now even his own _brother_ hated him. Thoughts of what he should do started to invade his mind, he's would have to come out of his room at some point. He thought of just going back to normal and trying to ease out of all the tension that kept surrounding his life. Then a switch flipped inside his mind and he lifted his head from the pillow slowly. _'What if... I tried to be more like Feli?'_ The thought of him acting the way his younger brother does made him cringe. But then he thought of how that's the reason so many people liked him. ' _If I could act more openly and flamboyant, maybe people will actually...like me?'_ He pulled his hands up to rub his temples; a small migraine easing it's way into his head from the mere thought. Lovino decided he had enough for one day and rested his head back onto the pillow, slowly drifting his way to sleep.

Morning came as the light from his window slowly crept in and drifting onto his face. Lovino woke up from the blinding sun in his eyes, groaning as he sat up, squinting to see the time. He saw that it was only eight in the morning, so he got up and prepared to head down stairs. Lovi paused, remembering his decision from yesterday, ' _I guess I'll have to really start doing this now...' ,_ letting out a sigh, he twisted the door knob and screamed. Feliciano was standing right outside his door, apron on and hand raised in a fist like he was about to knock on the door. They both jumped away from each other, terrified for a brief moment from the scare.

"B-breakfast is r-ready..." Feli looked away from his brother, his voice cracking from his nerves.

"Thank you! I'll be right down!" Lovino decided he might as well go ahead and start his new act that morning. Feli looked up, very confused of what had just come out of his brothers mouth. Lovi stepped forward and hugged his brother, figuring that was something his brother would do to _'Luddy'._ Lovi turned around and closed the door behind him, having another cringe attack after what he had just did. _'Wow, am I_ really _this desperate?',_ He thought to himself before standing up straight and walking to the bathroom.

Feli kept standing where he was, still not sure what to think of Lovi's new behavior. It scared him in a way to see him like that, he had never hugged him willingly. Doing the only thing he could think of, he pulled out his cell phone from his pocket and started to dial up Ludwig's number. ' _Ludwig must know what to do in this situation, he has a brother too!'._ He still stood by Lovi's door as he waited and listened to the phone ring.

"Hello?" The phone finally picked up, and Feli let out a sigh of relief.

"Ludwig, something is wrong with Lovi, but I don't know what!"

 **Translations:**

Bene, che diavolo stesse succedendo qui prima mi è venuto in ? E non dirmi niente, Feli, so che qualcosa stava succedendo- Well , what the hell was going on here before I came in ? And do not tell me anything , Feli , I know that something was going on

Niente fratello ! Stavamo solo baciando ... un po prima che tu arrivassi . Ma niente di più lo giuro ! Stavamo parlando poi abbiamo cominciato baciare ! Si prega di non fargli del male !- Nothing brother ! We were just kissing ... a bit before you arrived . But nothing more I swear ! We were talking then we started kissing ! Please do not hurt him !

Mi dispiace che ho avuto modo di baciare qualcuno stasera e non l'hai fatto !- I'm sorry that I got to kiss someone tonight and you did not !

 **So that's that! :D sorry I was going to post a few days ago but yea, half got deleted xD**

 **Thank you to everyone who has reviwed, followed, or favorited this story already! I highly appreciate it, and makes my day! Can't wait to post the next chapter! Hope you all enjoyed!**

 **-Sam**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey everyone! I can't tell you how sorry i am for how late this chapter is coming out, I've been in a really rough spot. My dad had to go to the hospital and I've been dealing with some of my own personal issues, so it was hard for me to get the motivation to write :) I'm so happy i finally got this out though! I'll try my best to get the next chapter posted in time haha.**

 **Anyway, I hope you guys like this chapter! -Sam  
**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own the characters! They belong to the show Hetalia, not me.**

 **And as always, Translations at the bottom!**

Feli opened the front door, he had begged for Ludwig to come over after becoming increasingly worried for his brother. Behind the door stood the tall blond German, wearing his normal white tank-top with his military jacket hanging over his shoulders. Feli smiled and stepped forward to hug him, he just stood still and put a hand on Feli's back. Pulling away, he seemed to have forgotten about why Ludwig had come over, because he just stood there and looked into the tall blonde's eyes.

"Uh..Feli? Your brother?" Ludwig whispered the last half of his sentence, not wanting Lovino to over hear them talking about him.

"Oh, yea! Come in, hold on." Letting Ludwig into their house, he signaled for him to stay behind while he went to retrieve his brother from his room. Reaching the bedroom door, he knocked on it and called for Lovi to come out. He stood there, waiting, until the door opened and Lovino stood behind it smiling at Feli.

"Yes?"

"Ludwig is over, I thought maybe you would like to... say hello?" Feli twiddled his hands, anxious of the response, and expecting to hear Lovi refuse and call him a bastard. But it never came, instead, Lovi smiled even more and let out a very enthusiastic 'mm-hmm!'. Feli looked back up at him, surprised at the fact that he, Lovino Vargas, gladly accepted the offer to go downstairs and greet Ludwig. Even after the day before with the confrontation of Feli and Ludwig making out, it didn't seem to faze him anymore. With that, Feliciano stepped to the side and let Lovino follow him down the stairs, keeping a close eye on him from the corner of his eye. The nerves inside the younger Italian were going haywire, not sure of what had gotten into him and if he had a serious brain injury. Reaching the bottom, Lovi walked past his brother to Ludwig and stopped in front of him, still smiling.

"Ciao Ludwig, I'm really sorry about my outburst last night." Lovi held his hand out to shake, trying to hold himself back from the urge to sock him in the nose. _'Shake my goddamn hand already, it's not easy trying to be nice to you, bastard'_ His blood was about to boil waiting for Ludwig, the German had tensed up at Lovino's oddly kind gesture and words. After a few moments of awkward silence and waiting, Ludwig realized he was being rude to keep him waiting, and stepped forward and shook his hand. Ludwig was still hesitant to do anything more, also having no idea why he was being kind _for the first time.  
_ He was clueless of what he should say, still trying to wrap his head around his boyfriend's brother. Thinking for a moment, Ludwig smiled when he thought that nothing really was wrong, and he liked this new attitude.

"H-hello Lovino, that's uh... quite alright." Ludwig let his smile widen a little when he saw that Lovi smiled back and didn't yell at him or retort. Releasing Lovino's hand, his own fell back to his side and he looked over at Feli, smiling at him too. Though, it didn't seam to ease him, Feli still looked worried and bit his lip; silently begging Ludwig to do more than just say hello. Lovi picked up on his brother's worried expression and looked at Ludwig, the two seemed to be having a silent and telepathic argument with each other. He stayed quiet, not wanting to interrupt like his past self would have, and _oh how he wanted to slap that German right where he stood._ All three stood there for a few moments; Feli and Ludwig keeping up their silent conversations without noticing that Lovino was watching them the entire time, trying to keep up on what their facial expressions meant. Minutes passed and they all jumped when the quite atmosphere was broken by the sound of a grandfather-clock ringing that the sound of a new hour. All at once, three heads looked over to see the time, noticing how they had been there for half an hour just looking at each other. Ludwig sighed and looked at Lovi, who still had said nothing, and gave another smile.

"It was my pleasure seeing you, but I have to get going now." The tall blonde man reached out and shook the Italians hand once more before turning to the younger brother and hugging him goodbye. Lovi felt a blood vessel pop in his eye when he saw Ludwig tightly hugging his brother, he wanted to run over and snap his neck. Lovino was a _very_ over protective brother, not seeing Feli for almost all on their younger years made him really want to keep him safe at all costs. Instead, he just returned a smile and bit his lip, so hard actually, that he started to taste the iron of his own blood. He ignored it and kept his teeth clenched down, watching Ludwig open the door and walk out. ' _Fuck, this is really hard to keep myself from beating his ass into the ground. Why the hell was he even here? He didn't do shit!'_ In the corner of his eye, he saw his brother look at the door, seeing a little hint of dread in his eyes.

"Fratello, why did he come over?" Feli whipped around and nervously laughed a bit, and putting his hands behind his back.

"Um, I just wanted to see him, and uh...thought maybe you did too?"

"M'k" Lovi turned around to leave, seeing no point in confronting his brother on the obvious lie. But he stopped when he saw that Feliciano had pulled out his cell phone and keys while heading to the door, as if he was leaving. This grabbed his attention, turning back around, Lovi stood facing his brother, wondering what he was doing. "Are you going anywhere?" Lovi spoke in a calm tone, not sounding hostile or suspicious. Feli turned back around, not expecting Lovi to really notice that he was getting ready to go.

"I was going to head over to big brother Francis for a visit, I don't suppose you would like to see him? I didn't think you really liked him so I didn't think to ask if you'd like to join..." Feli seemed embarrassed that he had to explain he was about to leave without telling. Lovino smiled again and thought for a moment. _'I guess if I went over, maybe he would like me better? And if I can get him to like me, he might talk good about me to others...Meaning I might get liked by more people like my little brother!'_

"Yes, I'd love to actually!" Lovino turned around and took a few steps towards Feliciano. Letting his fake excitement shine through, he really was hoping his new act would work on his brother Francis. Feli looked at him, more concern clouding his eyes, Lovi noticed it but knew why he was concerned. Ignoring it, Lovi went ahead of Feli and opened the door, holding it out and looking over his shoulder.

"Coming?" Feli caught himself and started to walk out the door, keys still clanging around his fingers. Feli really did want big brother Francis to enjoy his rare visit, but now that Lovino was coming along as well, he wasn't so sure on how things would go.

The sun shown down on the two Italian brothers who stood on the door step of their big brothers house. Lovino walked to the door while Feli stayed back, he had suddenly not been feeling his normal happy, and energetic self today. To passing strangers, Feli looked like a cowardly little brother who was always scared. On the other hand, Lovino looked like the smug gentlemen, that everyone would easily get along with: really the opposite if what their true personalities were. But Feli knew that, he knew what was going on around him. He just didn't know how to change it or how to really help it. The thought, or even knowledge, that his oldest brother had completely changed and suddenly popular, gnawed at Feliciano's mind until his head began to hurt.

"Bonjour? Who is there?" The door cracked open a bit, enough for Francis to pop his head out and glance over at the two men standing at his door. His curious expression changed quickly to excitement, his eyes meeting Feli first, and somehow not seeing Lovino. The door swung open, Lovino having to jump out of the way so the door would not run into him, and Francis lunged out of his house to embrace his little brother. "Feliciano! You came to visit me!" Francis squeezed Feli in his arms, Lovino just stood to the side and watched them with a small smile across his tan face. _'So I'm still not noticed first even if i stand right in front of the bastards face...How great.'_ Lovi gritted his teeth, but kept the smile; waiting for Francis to notice him just standing there. When he finally let go of Feli, he turned around to see Lovi, and paused a moment. He wasn't quite sure of what to do or think. Lovino had never visited since he was still a little kid, and before him and his little brother got separated. So, he just smiled and walked over to Lovi, and hugged him. His actions were slow, but full of emotion, as Lovi could hear Francis sniffle back tears. This really did surprise both Francis and Lovi. One, Lovi was shocked that Francis was starting to cry, and this made him happy enough to hug him back. Secondly, Francis expected Lovino to reject the hug, and even try to wiggle away. Though, the opposite was going on, he was _hugging him back._ When Francis pulled away, the two just smiled at each other, Lovi seeing the small appearance of tears in the sides of his older brothers eyes. Deep down, this really did make him happy, somebody who treated him like shit a few days ago, was suddenly so happy to see him for some reason.

"Y-you actually came to visit me." Francis kept his hands on Lovi's shoulders, emotions exploding within himself.

"Well, I haven't been over since I was a little bambino!"

Feli watched the two for a moment, he knew _something_ was wrong with Lovino deep inside, but he was just hiding it. He couldn't figure out what though, he's just been acting so much more like _...wait._ A switch inside Feli's brain flipped. ' _Lovino has been acting a lot like_ I _do...'_ He finally figured it out, but why? That was the new question now, the new one that would linger in his mind until he figured it out again. Feli didn't realize that during his deep thoughts, his brothers were trying to get his attention. Lovi began to shake his shoulders and yell his name, that was when Feli came back into reality and blinked in confusion. He looked at his brother, seeing that he had a worried look on his face.

"Are you okay, fratello?" Lovino looked deep into Feliciano's eyes, not understanding why he had not been responding for a few minutes. Feli kept looking right back at him, eyes still wide, and mouth still slightly open.

"Um yea, I'm fine." Feli peered over Lovi's shoulder to look at Francis. He had been standing behind Lovi, and he too had a very concerned facial expression. _'How long was I in my own thoughts?'_ Lovino sighed and smiled at his brother.

"Lovino, would you and Feli like to come inside?" Francis walked over beside Lovi, he had smiled at them and gestured to his door. Feli saw both men look over at him, waiting for his response.

"I'd love to." Lovi turned to face Francis, and started to walk to the door, Feli paused for a second and then decided to just follow along. Feli had just now realized that his brother seemed to be impersonating him, but was still trying to think of _why.  
_

The two Italian brothers had ended up spending the entire day at big brother Francis's house, and the visit going surprisingly very well. By the time Lovino looked up at the clock, he realized it had gotten fairly late, and also noticed the sun had started to set into the golden horizon. He was sitting at the kitchen table with Francis and Feli, all three keeping up a great conversation, and even sharing laughs. Feli and Francis were still talking when Lovino stood up from the table and pushed his chair back, both stopped and looked at him in confusion. Lovino looked down at them and kindly smiled at Francis.

"I really enjoyed coming over, thank you for letting us stay for a while. I think it's getting late though, my brother and I must be on our way now." When he finished, Feli turned around to see the clock and look out the window, he too seeing how late it had gotten. He let out a small gasp and said something under his breath. Turning back around in his chair, Feli thanked Francis as well and stood up. They started to head for the door, Francis getting up as well to wish them farewell.

"It was great that you two came to visit me, I needed some company! Oh, and Lovino," Francis paused and looked at the older Italian, Lovino pausing to looked back at him as well. "I really loved seeing you, I can't remember the last time we had a good time together, I liked it a lot." He reached back and scratched the back of his head, and his smile widened. Lovi was surprised that he had brought up his new attitude change, and half of him hated it. He hated the feeling that even his big brother Francis would point that out right to his face. Lovino just simply smiled back at Francis and walked out the door, Feli following right behind him.

The ride home was silent. Lovino just looked out the window, he didn't look happy at all, he looked like his old self. Feli noticed, but didn't say a word, still not fulling understanding what had been going on. Neither decided to attempt at building a conversation or even small talk, just silence until they got home. When they walked in the door, Lovino turned around and out on another fake smile for his brother.

"Thank you for letting me come with you to see Francis. Goodnight." With that, he turned back around and jumped up the stairs to his room. Feli left in the doorway, he wanted to respond, but Lovi had already left. The entire situation, after the confrontation with him and Ludwig, had left Feli confused of what had gotten into his brother. He wanted to help if something was wrong, but he just didn't know what, and he knew it would be very difficult to get his brother to admit it or even talk about it. So he just stood there a while longer, it seamed like he had just lost his brother, like the real Lovino wasn't there anymore. He just seemed like a impersonator now, Feli didn't know who he was anymore, and when that hit him, he broke. He felt like he was going to cry. Feli dropped to the floor and began to silently cry, not wanting Lovino to hear him.

"Where's my fratello...?" Sobs and hiccups breaking up his words, struggling to speak. He really did feel like he just lost his real brother, he wanted the _real_ Lovi back, but he didn't know how.

Meanwhile in Lovi's room, he had his face in his pillow, sobbing into it so his brother wouldn't hear him. _'_ _So it's true, everyone likes me better if I act like my stupid kid brother. Why am I even trying? Doesn't anybody like me how I was? It was all an act anyway...That's what my whole life has been, one big masquerade.'_ Lovino didn't know what to do, he felt as if he didn't exist or he just wasn't meant to be born. He felt everything was wrong with him, and even his own brother liked him better now as his act staggered along. What he didn't realize, was that his brother missed him, that he missed the _old_ him. That Feli was downstairs right now, on the floor crying his heart out, because he missed his brother. They both felt lost, and they both didn't know what to do.

That night, they both shared the same heart break, and the same feeling of hot tears streaming down their face. The same tears that ached and begged for the better, but didn't know if the story could continue any longer.

 **Translations**

 **Ciao-** Hello

 **Fratello-** Brother

 **Bonjour-** Hello

 **Bambino-** Baby

 **Sad cinnamon bun :'(**

 **Please leave a review, I'd really appreciate it, and love hearing what you guys have to say! -Sam  
**


	4. Chapter 4

**PLEASE READ  
**

 **Hey! Cod, I'm really bad at updating... I just started my freshman year of high school, so it's pretty stressful and hard to find the time to write haha. OH, and the "Appetite for Spamano" story is being written right now, and hopefully updated as soon as we can! I know, its been a month since we updated and i have idea how Sammy and I got so behind on it...But chapter 7 is finally coming out! if you guys haven't read it yet, please do! Sammy and I are writing it, and its really fun and a great story in my mind!**

 **So, here is chapter 4 of this story that you guys seem to really like for some reason? Btw, this was originally supposed to be a shorter story, so i was only planning on having 2 more chapters after this, but i might continue it, we'll see!**

 **Long chapter ahead! :D well... longer than past ones haha**

 **Disclaimer : I only own the writing, all characters belong to Hetalia!**

 **PLEASE READ ^^**

* * *

Feli felt a sharp pain in his neck, making him arise from his deep sleep. He realized that he had fallen asleep on the floor from last night, having been too tried from crying to drag himself to his room. He pushed himself up off the floor; he'd slept in an awkward position that night, making all muscles, including his neck, to ache immensely. His hands reached up to clear his eyes, still a little blurry from waking up at a time that seemed way too early for him. Feli still felt very tired, but he knew he ached too badly to even try and fall back asleep, so he pushed himself off the ground and trudged his feet to the kitchen to check the time. The clock that sat above the kitchen table ticked away at every passing second, interrupting the house's silence. Feli squinted his eyes, not being able to make out the numbers in a dark room, so he walked over to the wall and felt for the switch. When he found it, he flicked his finger up and turned back around to face the clock.

 **6:27 AM**

"Ve, that's way too early for anyone to be up!" Considering he normally woke up around 10am, he didn't know what to do until anyone else woke up. While he was still standing there, lost in his own thoughts, he was snapped back to reality when a wave of pain hit him. He winced and looked back at his shoulder, grabbing his muscle. The pain kept getting worse, so he decided to go upstairs and take a warm bath, even forgetting about his sleeping brother in the next room. He turned around to the staircase, leaving the lights on, and started to wobble to the bathroom. His feet padded and stumbled on the stairs, still not fully awake at such an early time of day.

Once in the bathroom, Feliciano started the water, letting it gush into the porcelain tub. The water was loud as it splashed around and filled up, but Feli didn't think of him possibly waking his brother up. He stripped out of the clothes that he slept in, and tossed them onto the sink, then climbed into the hot water. It sent a nice warm feeling into his body, already feeling his muscles start to relax. He slipped his entire body in, but let his head bob on the waters surface. After the relaxation of his muscles and loosening of the many knots in his neck and back, Feli started to recall that past night. Everything that had been going on with his brother, and the sorrow that he felt last night while crying himself to sleep. Feli wanted to help Lovi somehow and tried thinking of what he could do. _'Maybe Lovi's friends know anything that he didn't tell me?'_ The idea of contacting his friends; Antonio and Gilbert, came to mind, and seemed reasonable enough. He decided that's what he would do; see if they would know anything or think anything of the new behavior. Just then, a strange and wild thought came to Feli's mind. _'Maybe...Lovi is upset about this as me?'_ The mere thought that his older brother, one he looked up to, was in pain and suffering through this new disguise, disgusted Feli. It made him sick to his stomach, he never wanted anyone to be depressed, and especially not his older brother, _the grand Lovino Vargas.  
_

Feli walked back into the kitchen, he had drained the bath and cleaned up, all his aches and pains still remained but had lightened up. Grabbing his phone, that still had been laying on the tile floor, Feli walked over to the table and set it down. Taking a second to look up at the clock for the some, he saw that he had shaved off an entire two hours while bathing and freshening up. Deciding he should make food, after he heard his stomach let out a very loud grumble. Feli walked the the fridge and grabbed some of yesterday's leftover morning pasta.

While letting the pasta cook, he walked back over to the table and picked his phone up. Turning it on, he began scrolling through his contacts, looking through them all with curious and worried eyes.

"Antonio Carriedo"

"Gilbert Beilschmidt"

Looking at the two names on his phone, he thought of everything that could go wrong in the future, and all the worst possible outcomes to all sorts of things. All Feli knew for sure, was that his real brother, the _real_ Lovino Vargas, wasn't there, and Feliciano Vargas had to help find him. So, Feli decided he had to ask his brothers close friends for help this time, and sent them a group text.

 _"Ciao! Big brother Lovi hasn't been acting like himself lately, more like..._ me, _really. It's really starting to scare me. Is there anything that you think is going on with him? I'm really needing this, grazie~Feliciano Vargas"  
_

The phone made light contact with he table, making a small _tap_ when Feli set it down. This really was his last resort for help, for all he knew, his brothers world was crashing in around him and he had committed suicide up in his room. This realization and thought that he just had, scared him to death. Feli shot up from his chair and bolted up to Lovi's room, stopping to lightly open his door. In the dark, he didn't see a suicide scene, rather his brother sleeping in his bed with the computer still on. Feli started to walk into the room and maybe look at his computer, but the rustling of Lovi in the bed scared Feli. Knowing that his brother didn't possibly kill himself was enough, letting Feli leave the room with a relieved sigh. Still being quiet, Feli made his way out the door, and gently shut it behind him and went to head back downstairs.

* * *

Antonio blinked his eyes open, hearing his phone buzz next to him on the nightstand. He pushed the hair out of his eyes and sat up. Toni was always in good moods when he woke up, it surprised everyone, and definitely the opposite of Lovi. But, when he picked up his phone and read the message that Feli had sent him and Gilbert, his smile faded into a frown. He didn't see anything knew with Lovi from the last time he saw him, on his birthday. Thinking this was very strange, due to the fact that Lovi told Gil and Toni everything that was going on and never hesitated to ask them personal questions about life. Worry started to fill Antonio, making him fully awake and not tired anymore. He opened a new chat with Gilbert alone, and texted him.

" _Amigo, did you see what Feli said? What do you think, I think something really is wrong._ " Though, even in the early morning, you never had to wait long for Gil to respond to anything.

" _Ja, I don't think much of it. Lovi is too awesome to worry about!_ " Though, this response didn't make Antonio any happier. More upset actually.

Antonio and Lovino's history together goes way back, always being friends and Toni had found his own ways to see through the masquerades put up by him. He knew him best, and Lovi knew it too. Antonio acted like a brother to Lovi, they were probably closer than Lovi was with his own brother, Feli. They had always been friends, even if Lovino refused to show it in front of many people. He knew all of the acts that Lovi would put up, and could see through almost all of them pretty quickly. They rarely even fought. The only problem in their friendship, was that Antonio wanted more than that. He wanted to kiss and hold Lovino close at all times, he never wanted to be separated from him, and never wanted to see him sad. Over the years, Antonio had developed a massive crush on the Italian, but had never told anyone about it, not wanting to make things weird between them. But the thing was, Toni didn't know if Lovi would like him back, or if he would push him away and call him a disgusting freak. Lovi and his brother were always very close to the Catholic church, so Antonio thought that Lovi would not like him anymore because of him liking some men. Even more doubt was put onto the chance that Lovi would accept, due to the fact that he always had dated women, and flirted with them only. He never showed any liking to other men, which highly scared Antonio. All he wanted was his little Italian to himself, that's it. So, knowing that something was wrong, and that _Feli_ knew it, had Antonio very scared. He knew something had to be extremely wrong if that was the case.

" _Well, want to go give him a surprise visit? Maybe he'd like to get out of the house again._ "

But really, Antonio had his own little plan in his head. He really wanted to see Lovi, he _needed_ to.

* * *

The doorbell rang.

Feli ran to go answer it, not knowing who could have been there. A few hours had passed since he woke up too, so visitors at this time wasn't far too uncommon. When the door pulled open, Antonio and Gilbert stood behind the door, both smiling.

"Ve! Ciao guys! What are you doing here?" Feli smiled back and immediately thought of his brother, maybe he had called them over?

"Hola, Feli. We came to see your brother. Is he awake?" Feli looked behind him to Lovi's room, slight warmth comforted him.

"Si, please come in, I'll get him!" Feli stepped to the side and let the two inside. Turning around, he started to head up to the room, scared that the two down there would not think anything of the new behavior just like everyone else did.

"Fratello? Your friends are here" Feli kept his ear faced the door, waiting to hear a response from his brother. Nothing came, but he door handle wiggled a little bit, Feli assuming that Lovino accidentally hit it. A few more seconds of waiting, and then Lovino opened the door and smiled at his little brother. He had put on fresh clothes, and was unusually happy for being waken up so early. This sent a small wave of chills down his spine that really wasn't the Lovino that Feli knew.

Nothing was said between the two as Feli stepped out of the way and let Lovi pass him. He looked down at the main door, and saw his friends look up at him, both smiling. Feli felt a small bit of awkward air drift from them, but just silently followed him down the steps, and kept a happy attitude for the guests.

"Ciao guys, what are you doing here? You didn't call." Lovi looked at them, still happy. This creeped Antonio out; how happy and calm he was. It really wasn't like him, but he hid that knowledge and just went along with it.

"Just thought we'd stop by!" Lovino smiled even more and gestured for them to come and take a seat. The two complied and walked past him, Feli and Lovi stayed standing.

"I can go make some lunch." Feli turned around and started to head for the kitchen. Gil hopped up and jumped after Feli

"I'll come help!" They both watched as Gil followed Feli into he kitchen.

Earlier on the way there, Antonio had talked with Gil and asked if Lovi and him could have around fives minutes at least, to themselves. Antonio felt like he needed to talk to Lovi about what had been going on, he knew that Feliciano was also worried. So, the two were left alone in the living room, and Lovi walked over and sat down next to Toni. He started to get nervous. What if something really was wrong? ' _All these things could be wrong and Lovino could just be keeping it hidden from everyone. Even me...'_

Lovino did't say anything at first, just sat down and kept looking right on ahead. Antonio tensed up, he knew this might be the only chance he gets to talk to him all alone, before he kills himself.

"Mi amigo, what's been up with you? You know your brother is worried sick about you! Don't act like nothing is wrong, I know this is all another act your putting up. Please, Lovino, talk to me!" Antonio burst out, grabbing Lovi's shoulders and squeezing hard. He could see the shock in the Italians face, no anger showing at all, just complete and utter surprise.

"I, uh... What?" Lovino kept looking at him, trying to seem oblivious to the questions and statements being thrown his way. Though, this didn't please Toni, he let out a frustrated sigh and tightened his grip on Lovi's shoulders.

"Come on, don't play dumb with me, Lovi!" Antonio looked into his eyes, not looking away but keeping his voice low so that the others couldn't hear them. Lovi could tell that he wasn't going to give up anytime soon. He could start to feel his emotions welling up inside him already, and yet not another word had come out of his mouth.

"...Fine." Lovino sniffled, knowing he would break down talking about this, no matter how much he tried not to. He knew the response that Antonio would give, but also knew he had to tell at least him. The grip on his shoulders loosened, and Toni sat back up, anxiously waiting to hear the truth at last.

As Lovino opened his mouth to speak, Gil and Feli walked back into the room, unaware of what had been going on. They both looked up at the other two, seeing they had brought some food made by Feli. Everyone stopped moving, no words were spoken at that time as an awkward silence and eerie mood drifted in. Antonio saw that Gilbert started to get red and a little flustered, thinking they had just walked in on something far more than what it really was.

"Are we interrupting anything...?"

"N-no, not at all!" Antonio was quick to speak out, making sure the wrong message didn't follow through. Lovi didn't do much; he still looked exasperated, and kept looking at them. The strange air stayed for a bit, nobody knowing what they should do, or what to say. But, Gil decided to go on ahead and break the silence, as he started to walk to the ottoman and set a bowl of food down. Feli followed behind, bringing a meal for them all to share.

After all that, Feli had ended up leaving the room to let the other two figure things out for themselves. Gil, Toni, and Lovi didn't talk like they used to though, he had decided to keep up a new act even to his only friends and see if it worked on them. Obviously, he knew Antonio saw through it, but Gil seamed to buy it and not say anything bad about it. Thus, making their visit fairly short, and ending up in Gil and Toni leaving that night.

* * *

"Si, I don't know what to do with him." Antonio rested his head on his hand, his other hand tapping against the table. He sat in the very clean, and wonderfully decorated, dinning room of a Frenchman named Francis. He had normally come to Francis's house when he had romantic issues, but this was slightly different.

"Mm, but you have feelings for him, no?" Francis looked at Antonio with a smirk, having his own ideas in mind. Toni looked back up at Francis, slightly flustered and turning red from the sudden, on the spot, question. He opened his mouth as sounds sputtered out, attempting to be words.

"W-well si, I do. But I would never tell him that, Francis!"

Interrupting their conversation, Arthur walked into the room with two glasses of wine. Francis looked over at him and smiled, holding his hand out and taking one glass. Arthur smiled lightly and walked over to Antonio and handed him the other glass. Antonio smiled back, amazed at how much more the two had gotten along now that they had become engaged. They had originally been very angst to each other, but Arthur had slowly warmed up to him, and agreed to date. After three years, Francis had proposed in a gazebo at sunset, and of course, he accepted.

"Thank you, mon cher." Francis looked up at the Englishman behind him and kissed him, then letting Arthur walk back out of the room.

Turning back to Antonio, Francis continued on, "And why is that? You should always let the one you love know how you see them. It's a beautiful thing that should not be shameful or kept hidden, mon ami." Antonio frowned, seeing that he didn't seem to get the situation he was in at the moment.

"I… I just can't. He's very close to the church, and I don't know if he even likes me that way. Plus, he's the closest friend I have, I don't want to lose him. I can't…"

Francis shifted in his seat, getting a clearer view of the complicated feelings that were being put out in front of him.

"It doesn't matter, Toni. He has to know. Plus, if you tell him, maybe he would snap out of the act for a bit out of shock. Then tell him how much he means to you, so that he knows you only want the best for him, maybe then will he tell you everything. Love is meant to protect and cherish, so don't keep it so locked up." Francis took a sip of his wine, leaving Antonio to gape at the words that he heard. Feelings started to cover his thoughts, knowing how much he really did love Lovi, and how much he really did want to help in any way.

He had a plan, he _had_ to do it.

* * *

The knock at the door woke Lovino up that morning. He had slept in another depressed state last night, and didn't want to put his act back on so early in the morning. So far, he didn't seem like giving up anytime soon, everyone seemed to like it. But then the words that Antonio told him the day before wrung back into his head.

" _Your brother is worried sick about you!"_

Lovi still couldn't get over that. Was that why Feli had been acting so weird around him? Had he really figured out the act this far in?

Snapped back out of his own thoughts by the sound of the door knocking once more, Lovino sat up and walked out of his room. He couldn't see anyone through the door at first, but kept going to see if there was some sort of package that his idiot brother bought off the internet again. So he kept walking down the stairs, and still in his pajamas, not even bothering to change. Feli wasn't up yet, so Lovi really _did_ have to answer it.

Reaching for the door knob, he opened the door and lazily looked up to the person standing behind the door. His eyes widened at the sight of Antonio smiling back at him. His eyes moved down to see what he was holding. In the hand of Antonio, was one single lily; Italy's national flower. It shone as pure and white as snow, without a single bruise or nick on it, making Lovi's mouth hang open a bit. Lovino stood there for another moment, starring at the beautiful single flower, and Antonio. He had no idea what was going on, but had a small idea. The thought that came to his mind, made him turn a little red and he started to get really nervous.

"Hola Lovi, I know it's early, but I really need to talk to you." Antonio took a step forward towards Lovino, making him take a step back; still confused of what's going on. He didn't want to exactly jump right to conclusions, so he stepped aside and let Toni into the house. He walked over and sat on the sofa, gesturing for Lovi to come and join him. Doing as asked, he came over and sat beside him.

"Would you like coffee? It's still early."

"Si, gacias."

Lovi just really wanted an excuse to get another moment to himself before they talked, _'from what it seemed like..._ _No, it wouldn't! ...Would it?_

Walking back into the room with two mugs of coffee, Lovi could see Antonio twirling the flower in his fingers nervously. When he head the Italian walking behind him, he spun around to face Lovi, and smiled when he took a mug. Lovi sat down next to him, and took a sip of his own coffee, needing to wake up himself. The two sat for a second in silence, taking a few sips of the hot drink in peace.

"So, Lovi. I really needed to tell you something. It's very important." Antonio put down the mug on the ottoman and looked back into the others eyes. Taking in a deep breath, he mentally prepared himself for the reactions of the words that were about to come out of his own mouth. "Lovino Vargas, we have been friends for as long as I can remember. I have figured out all the ways you express yourself, and I can tell when your faking things. I know you've been faking this entire time, and i have no idea why you would even want to. I think you were perfect the way you where originally, before your little masquerade started. And I want you to know, I have loved you for a really long time now. I care so much about your well-being and when you're upset. It makes me upset. I want you to tell me everything, please. I care too much about you to see you like this, I know you're not happy at the moment, even if you act like it. You are very good at putting up acts, I don't know hope you did it with Ludwig. Everyone knows you hate his guts!" Antonio put down his head and shook it while letting out a few laughs. Then, he looked back up at him. "Lovino Vargas, I love you."

Lovi couldn't believe what he was hearing. _'He...Loves me? Antonio?'_

* * *

 **YAY! Sorry if anyone is a bit OCC, i haven't written France or England before haha. Put some FrUk in there honhonhon, and yay longer chapter! This has to be my favorite chapter so far tbh.**

 **Please review!**

 **-Sam**


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey! I know, i updated late...AGAIN. Well, school started and I've had lots of other activities, so I've been hella busy XD**

 **Anyway, before I start, i just want to say something. Yes, I know that the characters in this chapter will be OOC, but not too much. I felt like writing them this way, so I did! I think you guys will really love this chapter.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own any characters, only the writing. And sorry, this chapter is pretty sad but has fluff :3**

 **SMALL WARNING: there is a small mention of suicide in the story, and i don't want to trigger anyone, so just a small warning! It only comes up once and only for like 2 sentences. So if you're alright with reading a sentence or two about it, ignore this!**

 **Please review!**

* * *

Lovi looked at Antonio, still completely dumbfounded of what his best friend was telling him. They just kept each other's eyes locked, Lovino had no idea how to reply without breaking out in tears. He could tell that Antonio's grip on the lily had tightened, anticipation killing him inside for the response. The silence that sat between them started to become unbearable for them both, so Lovi opened his mouth, but he still didn't know what to say.

"I-I..." Lovi was caught in a hiccup of emotion, he could feel the emotions welling up inside him, and he know he couldn't keep it hidden any longer. The one hiccup turned into a series of them, and then those turned into slight sobs. Though, they didn't look away from each other, Antonio watched Lovi as he broke down; not sure if that was a good or bad sign, and started to worry. After another second, Lovi had burst into tears, pulling his arms up to wipe the streams of tears away, the gasps for breath, and choking of feelings, now made Antonio worried. Toni let the lily drop from his hand so he could reach over and scoot closer, rubbing his back and petting his hair. As he tried to comfort him, Lovi just felt more pain and more angst that kept pushing its way through his tear ducts and mouth. This was one of those extremely rare times when Lovino cried in front of people like this, and it always felt good.

Lovi started to control his emotions, after getting a large portion of them already out, and not having enough water in his system to continue on crying. Antonio removed his arms, giving him a better chance to compose himself and try to get some words out. This did help, as Lovino wiped away the last of his break down and looked back up at Toni, red eyed and sniffling.

"I don't know what I'm doing anymore... Nobody ever seemed to like me, and only my brother. So, I thought... maybe if I was like him more, people would like me. It was really working though, but it's not me. I've never been happy because... Well, I really don't know! I've tried everything Antonio! Everything! I'm so lost, I just feel like dying, and I don't why I haven't just killed myself already. It's not like anyone would even notice if I was gone..."

Toni gasped and took Lovi's shoulders in his hands, holding tightly and looking at him with a dead glare.

"Don't you ever talk like that. That is not okay, we just need to figure out what is going on." Antonio kept his voice calm, but on the inside, he was really terrified. Terrified that if Lovi keeps up like he is now in his depression, something might actually happen.

Lovino looked harder at Toni, eyes starting to tear up again, and making it obvious that he was mad at the words spoken by his friend.

"I already know what's going on you, you asshole! I'm trying to be like my little brother because everyone likes him and hates me, don't you know? I can't be myself because I'm afraid! Dickhead, w-why can't you see that?!" Lovi started shouting at Antonio, disregarding his brother upstairs. His voice cracking at the end as tears began rolling down his soft cheeks once more. The outburst made Antonio remove his hands from Lovi's shoulders, and look at him, completely unaware that had been the case the entire time. Feli had been right that he was acting like him. But, one thing that Lovi had said really sunk into Antonio.

' _I can't be myself because I'm afraid!'_

Antonio could feel his own heart breaking, knowing how upset this had been making the love of his life. He saw that Lovi had become emotionally unstable, so he reached out and pulled his head to his chest. Toni brought his arms around Lovi and held his head close to him, feeling his shirt start to absorb the streams of tears.

"Why are you afraid, Lovi?" His soothing and soft voice made Lovino open his eyes back up, only seeing the Spaniards shirt in front of him, and feeling the warmth of his chest. He didn't respond at first, thinking of the answer himself. He had never wanted people to think of him as weak, just because his brother was more successful at times. He was never the favorite as a child, so he just became rude and acted like he didn't care about anything. But he really did. Really.

"I-I guess because I don't want to seem weak...I was never really...loved growing up, I was more pushed to the side. I don't want that to happen again, so I push people away..."

Antonio smiled and looked up, holding Lovi tight and feeling his raspy breaths disappear.

"Ah, but that's how we learn. We have to learn not to care what people think of us, regardless. We have to learn that being loved comes and goes, and yes it hurts, but we all go through it. People can't be afraid to show who they are, if they do, others fall in love with who you pretend to be; which makes the process of being rejected or turned down even worse. Life is a big game., and we are the players. There will always be someone who loves you more than anything, and in the game, they are trying to find you. If you pretend to be a different player, you get the wrong match, and never find that one player who really loves your true self. And if you don't find them, you lose the game." He paused, looking down and meeting eyes with Lovino. "I think I found the player I'm looking for. But I can't be sure unless they show me their true self. Lovino, please be yourself. I think you're the player I've been looking for, and I just won the game." Their eyes didn't break apart from one another, and Antonio decided to make another risk by leaning down and kissing Lovino on his forehead. He could feel Lovi tense up when Toni's lips made contact with his skin. He pulled back away with a smile, seeing that Lovi had developed a massive blush across his face, staying tense. Antonio kept his smile soft, and pulled Lovi back into his arms, making the most of the embracing moment. To make it even better, Lovino decided to let out a muffled and quiet, "I think I love you too.", and snuggled closer to the warmth of the Spaniard, making Antonio blush hard and smile wide.

They both heard a door open and footsteps that came from the top of the hall. They didn't look up to see who came out, but stayed in the embrace. Lovi dug his face deeper into Antonio's chest, knowing that it was his brother that came out, but not wanting to see him now. But he knew that he couldn't avoid it, he knew Feli would come down to see what was going on. And just as expected, he could hear Feli walk into the living room, where him and Toni where curled up.

Although, at his surprise, he didn't say anything, but heard him walk away to the kitchen. They could hear pots and pans hit each other, and what sounded like the stove flame. Feli didn't come back into the living room, leaving the two to keep their grips tight, and share warmth. They kept still, Lovino secretly enjoying the warmth that radiated from the Spaniard, and the blissful silence they shared.

Antonio kept Lovi as close as he could, not knowing when the next time things like this would happen between the two. He wanted to cherish all the time he got to spend with the Italian as much as he could, loving everything about him, or did he? Now that he knew that Lovino had never really been himself, he wondered how much he would fall in love with the person that lay underneath. The idea that Antonio might not like the real Lovino Vargas scared him so much, it just made him hold Lovi tighter; hoping for the best.

They had lost track of time, and Lovino had actually fallen asleep in Toni's arms. Though Toni didn't want to rest, no matter how tired he was, because he wanted to make this moment last as long as it could. This was what he had been waiting for a very long time; to be able to hold someone he loves to dearly so close. He savored the smell of Lovi's hair when he breathed it in, he loathed over the warmth that radiated from him, and he melted at the peace held between them. He felt like everything was perfect and this could go on forever, but he knew deep down that it couldn't.

Feli walked in, carrying two plates of eggs, and setting them down on the ottoman in front of them. Antonio, even though how much he wanted not to, he raised his head up and looked at the smaller Italian. He stood looking at the two with a soft smile, not making a sound as he stood. Although, even though there was absolute silence, Lovino still woke up and lethargically raised his head from Antonio's warm chest. He quickly looked down at him, and saw that he was eyeing his brother.

"You little shit, get the hell out!" Lovi started to raise from the sofa, seeing his brother's gentle expression morph into hurt. He took a step back and raised an arm in a defensive way, afraid his older brother might hit him. Toni looked over, shocked that after that conversation, he was still being rude to his brother.

"Lovino, stop. Just talk to him." He kept his voice calm and steady, hoping that Feli would be able to understand what his brother has been going through. Maybe the two could tell each other everything, get everything off their chests. Feli looked at Toni while he spoke, and turned back to Lovi, easing down his arm. Lovi looked back at Toni, disgusted at first, then after thinking it over in his head, he looked back at Feli and sat down. He obviously wasn't happy about having to tell his brother what had been going on behind closed doors, as he took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

"Okay, listen. Obviously things have been different with me, especially this past week." He looked up, seeming calm but also frustrated. Feli stood in front of them, trying to think of reasons behind the actions. When he tried to open his mouth again to speak, but then he shoved his head down with bared teeth. Grunting, he bit his lip hard, and scrunched up his face. ' _Why is this so damn hard?!'_ He didn't think this would ever become this hard to confess. Feli's face turned into concern for his brother, not knowing why this was causing him so much pain. Lovi couldn't keep up like this much longer, he forced his mouth open and shouted. "I've been trying to be you because everyone loves you and hates me!" Lovino's expression fell, he looked defeated. "I just...wanted to be liked by people because I've always been pushed aside. You've always been the favorite Feli, I just wanted to be like that for once. But I'm too scared to be who I am in that I don't want to be seen as weaker and I don't want to be rejected for who I am." He kept his face down, a few tears starting to fall from his chin. Antonio reached an arm around him, pulling him back to his chest and resting a hand on his head. Feli walked around the ottoman and took a seat on the floor in front of Lovi. He radiated a soft and gentle smile, he was broken on the inside as well, hearing that that was how his brother felt.

"Fratello, I'm not perfect. I look up to you, you're my brother, even if you call me 'bastard' or other things. I know we didn't really see each other much as kids, and it was really hard for me. Not everyone likes me, a lot of people think I'm a hopeless idiota. I cried when I noticed you weren't acting like yourself to be brutally honest, I want you to be who you want, but at least be happy doing it, ple-" He was cut off as Lovi lunched forward from his seat and grabbed his brother. It caused Feli to fall backward and hit his back on the side of the ottoman. Making a grunt as he impacted, Feli looked down at his brother, seeing that he was hugging him tightly and had his face hidden. Antonio looked up to see if the two where alright, and all they could hear was a very faint and muffled,

"Thank you." Feli grew a smile across his face and chuckled a bit, happy that his brother was now aware of the feelings that him and Antonio felt with this whole situation.

"Come on, your breakfast is getting cold, and we have another meeting to go to today."

Later, the three men were walking down the hallway of magnificent halls to Francis's meeting room. They had all been encouraging Lovi to show them who he really wanted to be, little progress was made though. He did act more lively but was still very hesitant, and they urged him to do the same at today's world meeting. He was starting to sweat, anxious to the reactions of the others in the meeting hall, he really didn't want to do this. His act had been going well already and practically everyone was waiting to see the new Lovi, but that one wasn't coming.

"It's alright, don't be nervous."

"Easier said than done." Lovi shot Toni an irritated glance as they all walked. He wasn't ready, he began to feel very hot and sick, and put one hand on Antonio's shoulder for support. Toni kept walking, guessing that he just felt ill from the pressure, so he ignored it and kept going.

When they reached the room, they opened the door to see almost everyone already there. The meeting hadn't started yet, letting them all look over to see who had arrived next. Their faces lit up when they saw Lovi, wanting to see the rumors of his new attitude where true, but he didn't let them talk to him as he kept walking. The three picked out three seats next to each other that looked empty, but Lovi jumped out in front of Ivan when he was sitting down to stop him.

"Hey, you almost sat on Mathew, didn't you see he was already there?" Lovi looked up at Ivan, not scared of the big Russian, and everyone turned at the two, shocked that he had the guts to stand up to him. Mathew looked up from his seat at Lovi, surprised that someone even noticed him and tried to help him, holding his bear tightly. Everyone in the room went silent, and Toni stood up as to go and help Lovi, but Ivan towered over him and starred evilly at the smaller figure.

"Oh, sorry, my bad." Ivan put on another smile and walked away to another seat, everyone gawked at Lovino. He stood there and watched him go, unaware of all the eyes pointed his way, he turned back to Mathew and smiled at him before walking back to his seat. When he sat down, Antonio took the seat next to him, the rooms silence continued, and only then did Lovi realize that everyone in the meeting hall was starring him wide eyes, and mouths dropped. He got very nervous, tensing up and feeling even more sick, he turned to Toni and mouthed words.

"I need to leave right now." Toni read his lips and tried to reach an arm out to grab him as Lovino stood up and started to rush out of the room. He rushed past Ludwig, who just arrived, and ran to the bathrooms. Antonio jumped out of his seat and started to run after him while calling his name, everyone else just watched them go, completely lost in the situation. Feli stayed seated, his face showed his feelings of sorrow for his brother, just realizing how much more difficult this would be than he originally thought.

"Lovino, please wait!" Antonio panted as he chased Lovi down the hall, some people stopped and looked at them as they rushed past. But Lovi didn't stop, he kept running as fast as he could to get away from the meeting hall and everyone else. Tears brushed his cheeks and flew off behind him, he gaped in gulps of air, not even wanting to see Antonio. When he found a bathroom, he rushed in and rushed open a stall door, locking it, and throwing his back against the door. When Toni rushed him, he kept his sobs quieter, but they were still obviously loud. Antonio stopped and caught his breath, walking over to the stall Lovino had locked himself in and eased to his knees in front of the stall. The rest of the bathroom was empty, making Antonio feel better that nobody would intrude.

Antonio sat there on his knees, and his head leaning against the door, facing the floor. He placed a hand on the door, hearing Lovino sob softly but jerkily. "Lovi, please. What's wrong?"

"I-I can't do this Antonio!" He could hear the desperation and fear in his voice, seeing how hard this was.

"Si, you can Lovi. You had no problem being yourself and standing up to the scariest man on earth, until you saw how people were looking at you. They were shocked of how brave you are, not how stupid you are. You can do this." Antonio saw, through under the door, that Lovi had one hand on the floor, the other perhaps muffling his sobs. He reached is hand under the door and placed it on top of Lovi's hand, feeling him jerk a bit but after realizing who it was, he relaxed at the touch. "Please open the door Lovino." He got no verbal response from him, only feeling the soft hand beneath his disappear, and heard the lock of the stall door come undone. Lifting his head up, he saw the door became loose, so he stood up and carefully pulled it open. The door creaked the slightest as it glided to the side, revealing the crying Italian sitting on the floor with his arms wrapping around his legs. Toni's eyes clouded over with dismal, causing him to stoop down beside him and wrap his arms around him. He didn't sense any tensing from Lovi for the first time, and to his surprise, Lovino actually threw himself over Toni and squeezed him tightly. His face was wedged under Antonio's chin, taking in his warmth and letting his tears soak into the shirt.

"Thank you, you've always been there." Lovi took his head up, and rested it on Toni's shoulder, having their heads next to one another. Lovi's mouth was by Toni's ear as he gently whispered "Thank you." through the gulps of air between sobs.

Interrupting their time together, the bathroom door opened, causing Toni to jerk his head up from its resting position. He peeked out to see who had come in, and who he found was the thin and bushy-browed, Arthur Kirkland. Arthur looked over at the stall, seeing Antonio peer out. He started to open his mouth, but the quiet sound of Lovino let out hiccupped sobs, and Antonio on the floor, Arthur decided not to say anything. He gave a sympathetic smile and left the bathroom, leaving the two alone again. Antonio turned back to Lovino, and grunted when he returned to run into Lovino's face. Lovi had pulled his head up and faced Antonio, and as Toni turned around, Lovi kissed him. That was the best way he thought to show his appreciation of the person who was helping him get through this. Antonio was shocked at first, but realized it was not an accident and let it go on for however long Lovino kept it. Once they pulled away, their foreheads came together and Antonio reached a hand up to wipe the tears from Lovino's face.

"Everything is going to be okay."

* * *

 **Whoop! I hope i don't need to put translations in, everything should be pretty obvious haha. I forgot to put in translations last chapter, so i hope that wasn't too much of a hassle!**

 **Thank you for reading, and please review!**

 **-Sam :D**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hello everyone! Sadly, this is the last chapter of this story :'( I loved writing this so much, as i relate on a very personal level to the problems and challenges that Romano went through, and it makes me so sad to end it already. I really love the ending i gave this, and i hope you do too :)**

 **WARNING: feels**

 **DISCLAIMER: i do not own any characters!**

 **enjoy!**

* * *

The bathroom door opened slowly and gently, trying not to make much sound. Feliciano took a step forward into the bathroom before he heard the soft sounds of someone crying. He knew right away that it was his brother, taking a few more steps inside and peering around the corner. He could see the all the stall doors open, but the sight of two people huddling together on the floor showed from under the stall wall. Not much was visible, but he could still hear soft sobs and see the two men close to one another. He decided to keep walking farther in, and turned his head into the stall. A kind smile grew on Feli's face when he saw his brother embracing Antonio, and the bliss that wrapped it's arms around the two.

Lovino snapped open his eyes and tensed every muscle in his body tensed defensively when he felt another pair of arms wrap around him. He couldn't behind him, but he relaxed when he took in a breath and smelled the garlic smell that followed his brother. He felt more at ease knowing who it was, and relaxed a bit once again. It seemed like a never ending cycle to him, something always good happened then it disappeared. Those things annoyed him dearly. But he felt his brother give one tight squeeze before he let go.

"Ciao fratello, the meeting is taking a break. Alfred and Arthur got in another fight, but everyone is excited to see you today." Feli gave a tender smile and tilted his head, trying to get Lovino to cheer up a bit. Antonio looked back and let go of Lovi, sitting back up and letting the other sit there with his head down. Feli and Antonio looked at Lovi, seeing him look up slowly with his eyes red and clouded, blush reaching to his ears, and nose running. His eyes shifted to both people, seeing their glimmering faces of encouragement.

"W-why?" He choked out the words, feeling the mucus run down his throat and making it hard to talk.

"Because, they heard about how you were nice to Luddy and now thy wanna know if you're alright. You did run out of the room before the meeting started."

That nickname that his younger brother had given his German boyfriend, had always vexed Lovi. He hated it. It sounded like they were lovers- wait...No. Lovino quickly paused and pushed that out of mind, not wanting to think of that disturbing possibility.

Lovino blushed even harder and put his hands on the tile and pushed himself off the ground, the other two watching him with questioning looks. "Fine." He brushed off his shirt and looked at Toni and Feli. They were still sitting on the floor staring at him. "W-what are you guys staring at me for?" flustered, he began to sweat and his blush deepened even more. Antonio and Feliciano laughed and jumped up from their seats on the floor, excited that he had finally gotten in the mood to go back out there even after what had happened earlier. Antonio grabbed Lovi's hand and tugged him out of the stall, Lovi had a odd expression to feeling the Spaniards hand clasp around his own, it wasn't as bad as he thought...

Feli followed behind the two, all three leaving the bathroom, Antonio and Feli laughed in excitement, however, Lovi sunk his head into his shoulders with embarrassment. They all continued on through the hallway and made into the entrance of the meeting room, when they stopped in front of it, Ivan opened the door and looked at the three. He smiled at Antonio and Feli, but he he reached Lovi, he have an intimidating smirk. This terrified Lovino even more, but Antonio pulled him through the door anyway with his brother close behind. The warm atmosphere held the trio when they walked in, familiar faces turned and looked at the three. They all smiled at him and Antonio dragged Lovino over with him to talk. They first went to Francis, who stood with a fine glass of wine in his hand, he smiled at all three of them before talking.

"Bonjour, how are you Lovino? What happened earlier, nothing too bad i hope~" Francis came over and put his arm around Lovi, making his blush hard and Antonio jealous. Toni grabbed the arm and pushed it off the Italians shoulder, giving Francis a fierce glare. Francis noticed and put his hands up defensively. "Mon ami, no need to be offended. I was just messing around with your boyfriend."

"W-What?!" Lovino jumped away and laughed a bit, feeling his blush grow deep and hard. "I'm fine..." He avoided eye contact with Francis, but didn't feel the need to yell or curse at him. Nor did he feel excluded or hated, Francis didn't even ask how his brother was doing, which was surprising. a warm feeling grew inside him, he didn't what it was but he liked it a lot better than crying. While they all stood there for another second, Arthur walked over and joined in.

"Hello Feliciano, Antonio, Lovino. I hope this bloak isn't bothering you." Arthur looked at Francis with a playful glance and nuzzled their hands together.

"He's fine, thanks..." Lovino was still shy but still tried to talk, remembering everything he's gone through to get this far. He was starting to feel like one of the group, and he had completely forgotten about the fact that Antonio was still holding his hand. Though, even after realizing it, he didn't remove it, he liked the feeling of warm skin against his, sharing each other's warmth. Lovino looked over at Antonio and shyly smiled, hearing his brother start to talk to the others again. 'Maybe I should consider what Antonio said to me earlier back at home...' He looked back over at him and starred for a while, admiring is features and feeling butterflies in his stomach.

"Lovino? Hey, Lovi!" Francis was waving a hand in front of his face, and he saw that Antonio had turned and saw that Lovi was looking at him with a smile. He was immediately embarrassed and hid his face again. The others laughed and he looked back at them and joined them. Others had started to pour back into the meeting hall, seeing the small group socialize and have a good time. For the first time ever, he felt like part of the group and wasn't worried about being pushed away or rejected, he felt accepted.

* * *

"Ciao!" Lovino hung on to Antonio as they walked out of the meeting hall. After the meeting had ended, everyone had gravitated towards Lovi and they all started up conversations of their own, sharing funny stories, or just talking about life. He was really happy about how things went, everyone seemed to like him! Antonio reached over and ruffled Lovi's hair, laughing.

"Hey, I have to go back to my place for tonight. I've got to check up on everything." Lovino looked up into his eyes, with the sun, they sparkled in wondrous colors that made him melt. His was sad to hear that he would be leaving, but thought he shouldn't be so shocked. It's not like they where romantic partners or something... at least yet...

"Alright. See you soon then?" He hung onto Antonio's shoulder, not wanting to let go of him. Antonio smiled and pushed the hair out of Lovi's face and kissed his forehead.

"Of course." Antonio started to walk away to his car and left Lovino in the parking lot, alone. He didn't know if that meant they were dating or just really close to it, but he couldn't give a fuck anymore, he was so happy. He watched as Antonio turned on the car and drove away, and he heard his brother come out of the building behind him.

"Ready to go home, fratello?" Feli came up and smiled at his brother, everything now seamed so perfect, and he intended to keep it that way. He walked up beside his brother and saw him watch as a car pulled out and drove away, he figured it must have been Antonio. Lovi looked to his side to see his younger brother looking st him with a wide smile, he blushed and got flustered,

"W-What's that look for?" He put his hand on Feli's head and pushed down while ruffling his hair, but keeping away from the curl that stuck out of his head. They laughed before walking to their own car, Feli sitting in the drivers seat and Lovino getting into the passengers side. He didn't ride with his brother much, so he often forgot how terrifying of a driver Feli really was. Feli didn't even buckle, or even give is brother the time to buckle himself in, before he had already hit the gas pedal and the car jerked back in reverse. Lovino let out a shriek of terror after remembering the massive mistake he had just done by letting his brother drive their new car. But of course, Feli just laughed and kept driving like a crazy person down the road .

* * *

"Hey Lovi, do you mind if Luddy comes over?" Feli walked over to Lovino who was sitting on the sofa watching _The Real Housewives Of New Jersey,_ his phone pressed close to his ear while on a call. Lovi looked over at his brother and just gave a small nod and turned back to his reality show, Feli opened his mouth wide with joy and brought the phone back up to his mouth to continue talking.

After a while, maybe two or three episodes of _The Real Housewives later_ , there came a knock at the door. Feli raced to the door and swung it open with enough enthusiasm to kill a koala bear. Ludwig stood outside looking down at his boyfriend with a small smile, Feli jumped out and hugged his boyfriend and making him stumble over. Lovino ignored the commotion and kept his eyes on the screen, watching how much of a bitch Teresa was being. He could hear his brother make small talk and invite him in, telling him that he can go take a seat next to Lovi.

"Lovi, I was going to make some food, want any?"

"Popcorn." His tone hadn't been stern or harsh like it used to be, it was more flat and calm. He curled his legs up with him on the couch and pulled a blanket over him, seeing Ludwig cautiously take a seat on the next cushion over from him. He could see Ludwig look over at him and give and odd look at the tv screen, making Lovi think he was judging his taste in reality shows. Lovino quickly turned to his side to face the German after he made sure that his brother had completely left the room. Ludwig looked at him in shock and worry, seeing how the Italian starred at him intensely.

"Listen potato bastard, even though I'm not being to total ass like I used to, doesn't mean I'm going to start liking you or discontinue your nickname. I'm going to tolerate you, so, if you're going to date my younger brother, I have some ground rules." Ludwig had his eyes wide and tired to open his mouth, but was cut off when Lovino started to speak again. "First off, I don't want to know what you guys are doing. I don't want to walk in and see you shooting a BDSM porno with my little brother. If I ask, then tell me. Second, don't you fucking _dare_ hurt him, if you do, I will _personally_ hunt you down and cut your dick off and feed it to your own dogs. Third, don't you _ever_ touch his curl, don't ask why and don't as hell ask him, just fucking don't. Fourth, always know that I am superior to you and you have to ask me if you want to take him anywhere, no sneaking behind my back you little shit. I could go on more, but I think you get it. Right?" Lovino squinted his eyes and starred at him, Ludwig had sweat dripping from the side of his head and his mouth hanging open.

"R-Right..." He could tell he made things very awkward and embarrassing, but that made him happy. Lovino smiled and turned back in his seat to the TV as Feli walked back into the room with a bowl of steaming popcorn, and tow plates of supper for him and Ludwig. They smiled for the meal and made room for Feli to sit between Lud and Lovino. Then without consideration, Feli took the remote off the ottoman and changed the channel to a good comedy movie, making Lovino scold his brother for not letting him see what was going to happen to Melisa. But after a bit, they all shared the first happy moments as one group under the bright illumination of the screen and laughed.

* * *

The fast breeze from the car pushed Lovino's hair back, letting it flow into Antonio's face, who was sitting very close to him with their hands intertwined. The loud music from the stereo blasted in their eardrums as they passed the other cars on the highway, turning it up louder when people gave them disgusted stares. But for some reason, Gilbert reached over and turned the small knob, making the music slowly fade into the distance, Antonio and Lovino looked up at him and questioned his actions.

"Uh, hey man, I'm sorry I didn't really believe you a while ago... Like when your brother said that something was wrong and I didn't listen, I just didn't think something like that could happen to you, so I didn't think it was real." He looked back at the two from the rear view mirror with empathy. It had only been two days since the entire thing had gone down, and since Antonio and Lovino started dating. "I just really hope that we will stay friends...Ow man!" Lovino reached forward and smacked Gil on the back of the head with a good amount of force. His face was irritated and Antonio looked over, exasperated that Lovi just smacked Gilbert.

"Of course we will, dumbass. I'm still here, and I'm certainly not going anywhere anytime soon." He sat back in his seat and squeezed Toni's hand and let Antonio rest his head on his shoulder, then leaned over to kiss his hairline. "Plus, I have the best boyfriend in the world, and you, why would I want to leave you guys?" Lovino finished and looked back out the window, loving the warmth his partner gave him and the feeling of their hands clasping together. Gil laughed and stepped harder on the gas pedal and pumped up the music, letting the car take them to wherever they wanted.

* * *

 **EPILOGUE**

Lovino sat at his old computer, boxes piled high along the walls as he sorted through all his junk. He had just moved into his new home and he was getting rid of anything he didn't want anymore, including all the old files on his laptop. Scrolling down ol' memory lane, he found a video file that he had saved about eight years ago, pushing his eyebrow together in confusion, he moved his mouse to the file. With one click, he saw the screen turn black and then a series of pictures appear across the screen with old up-beat music in the background. The photos where of him, Antonio, and Gilbert. He immediately recognized the video from his worst birthday ever and they day when his life had changed forever and that was the video that helped him get on his feet on after that horrid day. He continued to watch as he heard the door slide open behind him and heavy footsteps walk to him and a pair of arms wrap around his neck and a pair of lips gently touch his head.

"Remember this old thing?" Lovino laughed and looked up to see Antonio eyeing the video with a cute smile and look down so that their eyes met.

"Haha si, I do. Now come out, dinner is ready." He laughed and left the room, leaving Lovino to turn back to the screen and watch as the last and his favorite picture pass away. Old memories of his hard journey and almost-suicide days came back to mind and a small tear fell from the corner of his eye. He snapped out of the flashback and wiped it away quickly, then saved it to his computer permanently before pushing the chair away and walk out of the study full of boxes.

Outside the door was the best sight he had ever seen; Antonio wearing his apron and placing platters of food on the busy table as their one son raced around the floor with toy air plane. He had never seen anything better or ever felt so happy as he took another step and joined his family. This really was the paradise that everyone talked about.

* * *

 ***crying* thats it. I HATE SAYING THAT! Anyway, i wanted to say that Sammy and i just finished our first story "An Appetite for Spamano" if you haven't read it already, please do! It is so amazing and will make you cry ;) Also! I am working on a VERY long one-shot with FrUk that i will be releasing very soon, so please ready that too! I know Sammy is also writing many amazing stories so please read those too!**

 **Please review, and i hope you all loved reading this as much as i loved writing it :') -Sam**


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